DorkLogic

The Original:

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

I’m going to put my remake on a door mat:

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for a sale, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acuquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave my doorstep now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will open this door, I will look at you, and I will kill you.

“There’s an idea that because something is successful it is pre-ordained in some cosmic sense… that’s actually not how it works. You have to fuck up a lot; you have to get screwed a lot. By people that you thought would never do that. You have to keep doing it even when it seems like that’s the last thing you would want to do.”

- Jerry Holkins, on the success of Penny Arcade.